6. Male victims in the news
“Tell the world, Johnny, tell them: ‘I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic violence,’ and see how many people believe or side with you.”
That was Amber Heard caught on tape sneering at Johnny Depp, gloating that even if he were to tell the world, no one would believe that a man was the victim of domestic violence.
He told the world and was believed. People everywhere overwhelmingly sided with him in this huge celebrity court case, including the jury. Critically, Amber Heard’s and Johnny Depp’s behaviour was captured on tape, and due to the decision to broadcast live the entire proceedings, it attracted audiences of up to 3.5 million.
That meant absolutely huge numbers of people heard what went on between these two including the evidence that Amber Heard maliciously misrepresented herself as a domestic violence victim. In fact, she’d been violent towards Depp, but the court case also showed Amber Heard demonstrating coercive behaviour towards him.
When he was filming Pirates of the Caribbean in Australia, Depp described how he locked himself in bathrooms to escape the “endless parade” of insults and abuse he was receiving: “The house that they had rented for me was a bit of a labyrinth with a lot of rooms,” he told the court. “I think I ended up locking myself in about nine bedrooms and bathrooms as she was banging on doors, screaming obscenities, wanting to have a physical altercation.”
This description of Depp trying to get away from a woman screaming obscenities, sneering and tormenting him, ticked many of the boxes in the recently conducted survey of male victims of coercive control, published by psychologists from the University of Central Lancashire. Smashing property, tick. Threating to report him to the police for something he hadn’t done, tick. Playing mind games, humiliating him, insulting his masculinity. Tick, tick, tick.
There was plenty of all that. Like telling Depp that he was “over the hill.” “You are such a baby, grow the f–k up Johnny.” “Suck my dick,” Heard said repeatedly on one audio recording.
The Heard/Depp court case was a major set-back for the feminist coercive control campaign, demonstrating that whilst they claim men are always the coercive partners, women are quite capable of bullying and controlling their men.
Hence the importance of exposing cases where males are shown to be victims of this type of behaviour. One excellent example was a powerful 2019 BBC documentary, Abused by my girlfriend, which featured the first woman to be charged under the coercive control laws. The girlfriend was brought to justice by a policeman who realized she was the perpetrator, not a victim.
Another one hit the papers just recently. Look at this sensational headline from the Dailymail.co.uk: “Female prison reform boss is jailed for ‘worst case of coercive behaviour’ judge had ever seen: Senior manager subjected husband to 15 years of daily wine-fuelled beatings, verbal humiliation and even made him clean up her faeces.” The female perpetrator was jailed for four years.
Research on male victims of coercive control.
There’s also the important international survey conducted by psychologists Nicola Graham-Kevan and Deborah Powney from the University of Central Lancashire, showing male victims experience very similar patterns of coercive control to those of female victims.
Here’s some of the key behaviours reported by male victims:
| Try to restrict time spent with family or friends | 84% |
| Withholding sex as punishment | 65% |
| Overspend or run up debts which you were responsible for | 60% |
| Refused to share money/pay fair share | 75% |
| Threaten to take the children away from you | 84% |
| Tell you you're lying or confused | 84% |
| Use nasty looks and gestures to make me feel bad or silly | 88% |
| Threaten to leave the relationship | 67% |
| Threaten to harm | 66% |
| Made it difficult to work or study | 87% |
The research found men’s relationship with their children is often exploited to coercively control men, both within the relationship and post-separation. More than half those surveyed reported they’d experienced “withholding contact with children unless demands for money are met.” Almost two thirds of male victims were abused by their partners making or threatening false allegations to police.
This survey, which included nearly 1000 Australian men, revealed male victims are reluctant to make complaints for fear of being ridiculed by police. These psychologists are now using their results to try to educate British authorities about fair treatment of all victims of coercive control.
Male victims must come forward
The most important goal of the Mothers of Sons campaign is to encourage male victims to make complaints. As we have shown in Part 4, that’s what the feminists fear most. Concern about women being charged with coercive control has already forced lawmakers to delay the rollout of the new criminal laws, to try to indoctrinate the police and judiciary to stop this happening.
Our plan is to encourage as many men as possible to come forward by providing detailed information about how to make complaints, and what to do if they are not taken seriously by police.
Major men’s groups across the country are joining forces to make sure this all happens. This is just the start to our fightback against these draconian, male-hating laws.
Read all about it in Part 7 – Advice for male CC victims.